It's been a while...

I would have hoped to have lost a stone by this point, I haven't. In fact, I've slipped further back, and so I'm currently 105 pounds away from where I'd like to be in 55 weeks time.
Effectively, I've wasted the best part of three months. The lure of the biscuit tin and the Pringle tube is way too great. I eat because I'm upset, because I'm bored, because I feel that I need a treat. It doesn't help that I have to kill time on stations where the most appealing environments are the overpriced station shops and mini supermarkets, where at least I get a smile and and a friendly comment.
I've not been sleeping particularly for the last few days, to the point where I had a couple of hours of unwelcome wakefulness. While I didn't really appreciate lying awake in the darkness,, it did give me time to think.I've always felt second best, never quite good enough, even after all I've achieved. There's always been someone there who's got there first and done it better, making me feel that nothing I do will satisfy myself. The fact that I work in an environment that is often extremely psychologically toxic doesn't help.

Last week, I finally made the decision to request part time work from September. The commute continues to knock holes in me, and I want to have the option of going up to see my parents more often. Working three days a week would help me do this. I've waited a week for an appointment with the big boss, but without luck so far. If they are unable to give me this flexibility, I reserve the right to resign.

So where do I go from here? On a personal level, I want to lose the weight I've put on this week. I'm out on Wednesday, so I'm going to go to C's Tuesday group instead. It's a case of getting organised and realising exactly what losing this weight will mean to me.